Madness at Winco

Ahh, Winco. Huge discount grocery store. Lots of people. Me with a 4 month old and a 3 year old and a shopping cart. Let the fun begin! I should have taken it as a sign of how this shopping trip would be when we entered the store and Melia says: "I have to go potty." Ok, good--at least we can get that over with first instead of having to walk way back to the front of the store in the middle of our shopping trip to go to the bathroom. We get over to the bathroom and Melia says: "I don't need to go potty." Me: "Are you sure?" Melia: "Yes." Ok, I didn't really want to unload she and Naiya from the shopping cart anyway just so she could sit on the potty and not go. At least she was telling me ahead of time. On to our shopping. Big list in hand, kids in cart. Let's go. I have only been to Winco a few times, so it was taking us quite a while to find everything we needed. Plus, we had to navigate our way through the sea of Winco shoppers. Now people who shop at Winco are serious. They don't go there to just buy a few items. They shop for a month's supply at least. It's common to see people with 2 shopping carts packed until they're overflowing. So as I'm looking for the stuff we need, Naiya has this constant kind of moan going on--not actually crying, but the warning " I may burst into a full blown cry at any minute" type of sound. So I am trying to hurry as fast as I can with the amount of people I have to wait for and dodge. Meanwhile, our cart is filling up quickly and Melia has less and less room to stand in back there. She wants to get out. I don't want her to get out with this many people and carts around. She wears me down. I find an isle that is somewhat empty and foolishly allow her to get out of the cart. I spend the rest of the shopping trip trying to keep her out of the way of people, keep her from pushing the cart into people, etc. At one point, a rather large black lady passes by us and Melia says, pointing to the lady: “That’s a big booty!” Me: “Shhh!!!” Melia: “Mommy, that’s a big booty!” Me: “Don’t say that anymore. It might make her feel bad.” Luckily, the lady was out of ear shot. (I hope.) Kids. What are you gonna do? Anyway, by this time we have pretty much everything we need and we head to the check out stand. I glance down at my watch to be shocked that it is already 1:30pm which is the time that Naiya usually goes down for her nap. I look up to see each check stand has a big line with people who have packed shopping carts. Great. Just hang on Naiya. You’re doing good. We pick a line. Melia entertains herself by picking up every candy bar, breath mint, and pack of gum she sees and telling me she’s going to buy them tomorrow. Meanwhile, I’m trying to unload all of our stuff onto the conveyer belt and the lady behind us starts talking to Naiya, putting her face really close up to her. At first Naiya is amused, but then for some reason her amusement turns into terror and she starts to scream at the top of her lungs. Great. Just please calm down without me having to pick you up and carry you while I try to unload groceries, keep Melia safe and out of trouble and pay for our stuff. Luckily, she is pacified by me just talking to her. Thank goodness, she’s such a mellow baby. Ok, groceries unloaded, Melia back in the cart, pay for groceries, start loading them in bags. Well, Naiya’s had it. Full blown crying the whole time I’m trying to bag our groceries. Sorry kid, can’t help you right now. Melia tries her hand at calming Naiya by talking to her with her forehead pressed against Naiya’s forehead and “patting” (more like smacking) her belly. Somehow it wasn’t having the calming effect Melia was hoping for. My mission: Just get the groceries bagged and loaded back in the cart so we can hurry up and get home so we can all take naps. Ok, we’re on our way out of this madhouse of a store. We’re good. Everything is good. Did I mention I am not coming back here again? Just as we’re about to step out into the parking lot, Melia: “I have to go potty.” Me: “Are you serious?” Melia: “Yes, I have to go potty.” Ok, turn the shopping cart around and navigate our way to the bathroom. No problem. It’s not like we’re in a hurry or anything. I unload the girls and leave our shopping cart full of stuff outside the bathroom cause you’re not allowed to take it in. I say a little prayer that no one will take our stuff. I try to hurry Melia along as she dawdles along noticing every little thing in the bathroom. She is very concerned about whether the toilet flushes by itself or not. It does. Naiya is actually gaining weight the longer I hold her. We finish and return to our shopping cart. Hey! Everything is still here. Yay! Load Naiya back in cart. Get Melia to stop playing with the ball from the big bin of balls and get back in the cart. Ok, let’s try this one more time. This time, we actually make it to the car. Load the groceries in the trunk. Get Melia strapped in car seat. Get Naiya strapped in car seat. Return cart. Get on the road. Listen to Naiya cry and Melia whine about being tired. Oh, did I mention that Winco is down in Chico which means we still have a good 20 minute drive through nothing but fields and trees to get home? I glance down at the dashboard—I’m going 106 miles per hour?! What?! Oh, Melia pushed the button to convert it to kilometers again. We’re ok. Get home and grab Naiya to put her down for her nap. Come back out and get Melia and the groceries. Arms full of groceries. Melia goes in ahead of me. No, don’t close the door! Yup, she closed it. “Open the door, Melia.” “Open the door!” No response. I manage to get a finger free to slide it open and accidentally hit her head with the handle. Crying fit ensues. Ok, mom is done. 15 minutes later, I have Melia down for her nap, groceries that need to be refrigerated away and I collapse on my bed. Just another Monday in the life of a mom. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Well, maybe if I had a good enough offer. Just kidding. Maybe.